Neuronormativity: the hidden architecture of society
By Helen Edgar and David Gray-Hammond · From the Re-Storying Autism workbook, Module 2
Neuronormativity is the invisible system that defines what counts as “normal” thoughts, behaviours, emotions, communication, and energy patterns. It is the standard by which society judges competence and worth. Neuronormativity assumes:
- Eye contact is the expected
- Speech is assumed and preferred
- Small talk is important
- Flexible attention is superior
- Independence is the goal - not interdependence
- Emotions should be expressed in socially legible and comfortable ways
- Sensory discomfort is personal weakness
- Productivity defines value
Neuronormativity punishes difference by presenting itself as universal. Families often replicate neuronormative pressures without realising they are doing so, as it was the way we were perhaps brought up ourselves, maybe before we knew we were Autistic ourselves or without knowing there was any other way we can parent and care for our family members. When we begin to let go of the way we think we ‘ought’ to parent and be with our loved ones and really tune into their needs, things can become a bit easier.
Many people find a low-demand approach to parenting or family living helpful whilst still having boundaries. Low-demand parenting helps Autistic families because it honours capacity, bodyminds, sensory needs, monotropism, communication differences, and the need for safety and connection. It gives both the parent and the family member room to breathe, room to regulate, and room to be themselves.
Keep going in the course
This is a short extract. The full lesson in Module 2: Identity, Language and Disability Models includes the video teaching, the rest of the workbook text, reflection questions for parents, carers and Autistic people, and progress tracking.